The fulfillment you seek only lasts for a brief moment and only leaves you more empty once it's over, because it's an illusion. Your life is barren and meaningless because of your trolling and griefing. It has nothing to do with the world around you, and everything to do with the world inside you. You're stuck in a chinese finger trap, the cause of your own problems. And you drag down the world around you, having no respect for it, no hope, no empathy, no understanding of it.
The cure is in the good deed challenge I gave you.
The only difference between a hero and a villain is in their understanding of the world around them. Both believe they're wise, but only one really is. The wise one is the one who constantly reevaluates his knowledge and beliefs. The unwise one is a slave to fleeting emotions, stuck on a mouse wheel in the desert, chasing mirages. One has balance and self respect. The other is stuck in a deadly dance of self adoration and hatred.
The pursuit of fulfillment is opposed to the pursuit of meaning. The 'meaning of life
' is so simple that you look past it. Read it backwards, 'life of meaning
'. The only way to catch a white rabbit is to stop chasing it, and start following it.