When you compete, do you compete with your opponent, or against your opponent?
Competition is a discussion between opponents. Each side shares ideas with their opponent, to find what works better. The language is the battle, and the goal is to work out together which ways to best climb a mountain. Competing with your opponent, the goal is to climb the mountain, and stand tall together with your opponent. Competing against your opponent, the goal is to cut the rope and drag everyone down...just so that you can stand taller than your opponent. One way, everyone gains. One way, everyone loses. One is concerned with empowering themselves. One is concerned with power over others. One seeks to better themselves. One seeks instant gratification. This is why most players never improve, or even learn the basics, even after years of playing. The only thing that grows is their ego. And he who fights with ego, fights with shame and one arm behind his back.
